How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
