i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
