Its about making memories worth repressing
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
