Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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