Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
