I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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