Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They are going to name an STD after you.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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