yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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