and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
