CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
