I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
