i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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