Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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