Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
