O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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