how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
