You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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