he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
