My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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