Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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