i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
