Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
