How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
