We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
