You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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