My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
