Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
