Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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