I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
