If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
