I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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