sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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