we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
