just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
