go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Found the puke drawer
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
