just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize