I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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