I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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