I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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