We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
