Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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