Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
