sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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