whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
