Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize