No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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