Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize