and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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