He is like the real live version of the state fair..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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