Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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