I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
