I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
