Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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