opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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