Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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