I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers