The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
