Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
