you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
