And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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