I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
