I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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