The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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