Tell her she can't have a vagina
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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