OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
