69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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